


Taking My Time (Thinking Too Much)

by troubledsouls



Series: The Alien And The Flower [4]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Internal stigma, Josh is Sad, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 22:46:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5719816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troubledsouls/pseuds/troubledsouls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh's hat stayed firmly on his head. It wasn't going to move from there, no matter how much he wanted to take it off and stim with it and babble and...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taking My Time (Thinking Too Much)

Josh's hat stayed firmly on his head. It wasn't going to move from there, no matter how much he wanted to take it off and stim with it and babble and...

He was on the edge of a screaming fit. 

They were on live TV, doing an interview, and he just couldn't show his mental illness on camera. So many fans were watching. Tyler was the one who showed what was wrong with him, Tyler was the one who could be depressed, Josh had to be strong, had to be had to be…

Tyler looked over at him and seemed to be able to tell something was wrong. 

Luckily, it was just then the interviewer said that they were going to pause for a commercial break, so Tyler moved and sat closer to Josh and held out his left hand. 

Josh didn't take it.

“Hey, what's wrong?” Tyler asked quietly. 

“I'm not supposed to be the one who's like this.” Josh felt something lodge in his throat, he was going to scream and cry and he couldn't do anything about it he _couldn't..._

“Hey. Hey. Josh.” Tyler took one of Josh's hands and rubbed it between his own. “It's okay, alright? Do whatever you need to do. I promise nobody will mind.”

The interviewer was watching them curiously. 

“I have to be strong, I can't show it…” Josh whimpered, and oh no he was going to scream this was all too much…

“Josh.” Tyler's voice was firm and grounding. “Stim. Now.”

Josh's free hand flew to his hat and his other one pulled out from between Tyler's hands and immediately they were running all over his snapback, but it wasn't enough and then he was rubbing it harshly along his arm.

Tyler smiled very slightly, then gave the interviewer a thumbs up. 

They went back to live a minute after. 

Josh didn't pay much attention to the questions, just kept going back and forth with his snapback, untattooed arm beginning to turn a bright red.

* * *

“You feeling better?” Tyler asked as soon as the interview ended. 

Josh shook his head. “If I do this enough, am I gonna bleed?”

“Maybe. Is stimming not doing it?”

Josh nodded. 

“We’ll be back in the bus in about 10 minutes. Want to breakdown then?”

Josh nodded again. 

“Alright, Joshie. I'll be there.”

* * *

Josh clung to Tyler, sobbing into his shoulder and shaking violently. His mind screamed at him that he shouldn't be this way, he shouldn't be showing it he shouldn't be shouldn't be-

“Josh. Josh. Hey.” Tyler's voice was firm. 

Josh didn't realize he'd been screaming his thoughts aloud. 

“You're gonna be okay, alright? You're gonna be okay.”

* * *

Josh was sleeping, body collapsed against Tyler's. They were sitting on the bathroom floor, Josh having cried and cried until he exhausted himself. 

And now he was asleep. 

“Tyler?” Mark poked his head into the bathroom. “Everything okay?” His voice was quiet. 

“Josh got a bit too stressed during the interview.” Tyler explained. 

“Ah.” Mark said, as if this was a regular occurrence, which it was. “Is he feeling better now?”

“He's asleep.”

“Ah.”

“How long until we need to get ready for the show?”

“About two hours.” Mark answered after checking his watch. 

“Alright.”

* * *

“Josh. Hey.”

Josh awoke to Tyler gently shaking him. 

“Come on, we gotta get ready for our show.”

“Mmkay.” Josh mumbled sleepily. 

“Wake up, or else Mark’s gonna dump water on you.”

“Okay, I'm awake, I'm awake.”


End file.
